Attracting your perfect Partner

We all want to have our perfect partner, we spend much of our life time and energy seeking that person out but how many of us actually sit down and spend time thinking about what we really want from our relationships and partner? Almost none. We stumble through our teens and twenties, crashing through relationships without any real idea of what we are doing. Simply swirled around by the currents of life with no real direction or choice. You have probably spent more time planning a holiday than actively planning or thinking about who and how you might attract your partner. Well if you follow this program, that is going to change, forever!

Whether you are looking for a partner or looking to improve an existing relationship, it is important to understand one universal truth...

All the people we attract into our lives are a mirror of our innermost beliefs about ourselves and the world.

It is our self beliefs, our thoughts that determine who we attract into our lives, the good news is, we can change the way we think and start attracting the people we want into our lives.

The Nature of Relationships

Human relations are perhaps the most complex things we have to deal with in our lives and we spend much of our life time and energy dealing with them. It is however, affairs of the heart that often seem to most preoccupy us, bringing fantastic highs and desolate lows that can eclipse everything else in our lives. In fact during our early adulthood we think of almost nothing else, but even as we mature and are no longer victims of our hormones love, sex and relationships will continue to dominate our lives if we have not found our partner.

The nature of romantic relationships is very complex indeed, the basis of attraction between two people is  physiological as well as psychological. Have you ever felt really good and walked down the street and noticed how much attention you are  getting, a friend of mine once said, "its like walking around with a beacon on my head saying, I'm gorgeous! ". What we feel inside, shows on the outside and our bodies send out tiny signals to all around us, indicating how we are feeling. If you feel great inside, you will be HOT on the outside!

 People enter relationships for many complex reasons, sex, lust, loneliness, money, ego, support, fun, experience, revenge, the list is endless. So one persons goal may be to meet their soul mate, another's may be 'sex tonight'. Failure to recognize and understand each others motives can often lead people to falling into a relationship and  this is one reason why relationships fail. The tragedy is that whilst all relationships do bring us something, when they are over we are often left feeling only hurt and pain and the realisation of how much time we have wasted. Don't misunderstand me, meeting people, flirting, dating is an essential and wonderful part of life, but when the chemistry is flowing, the passion can overpower all reason. And that's OK too, its natures way. But if we want to start taking control of our lives and experience more fulfilling relationships then we need to start managing this process! Once the passion is running, it's way to late!

Every day you stay in an unfulfilling relationship, is one more day you are not open to another.

If you want to stop repeating the same old patterns and same old failed relationships, you need to stop and take some time for yourself to identify and release any negative patterns and beliefs.

If you want to start attracting and fancying a partner who can bring you the kind of relationship you want, you can! But you need to be prepared.

There is something you really need to understand and accept as part of the process I'm outlining to you. You will change, your whole life may change. Your new self assurance and confidence is likely to cause the basis of many of your relationships to change. The relationships that enhance and accept the new you, will flourish, but others that may have been reliant on your negative self-image may simply wither away. The process will attract wonderful new people into your life, but you may also have to release others.

Preparing for your Relationship

The reality is you cannot love another, and no one can love you until you love yourself and your world. Think about it this way, if you cannot find yourself loveable, who else will?

You cannot love another, and no one can love you
until you love yourself

Remember, no matter how your previous relationships ended, you share some responsibility for its failure. One of the key things we must do is spend time preparing for our relationship. This really means just taking the time to identify what it is you really want from a relationship, what kind of partner might give you that relationship, as well as identifying any patterns from the past.

At the root of most persistent negative relationship patterns or beliefs is a lack of self-love or respect, often linked to childhood experiences. Such underlying negative beliefs can blight all aspects of our lives, but nowhere does it manifest more than in our relationships with others. Undermining and releasing these negative beliefs is a key goal of our AffirmIt! program, using powerful affirmation and visualization techniques to make them simply dissolve away, replaced with new powerful beliefs that will free your spirit, make your heart sing and send your attractiveness quotient through the roof! Our beliefs and our patterns are simply habitual thought patterns that we use automatically and these thoughts can be changed. This is such a key issue for this subject that I deal with it further in the next section.

free your spirit, make your heart sing and send your attractiveness quotient through the roof!

The most important task is to do the inner work to flush out the negative beliefs that have been sabotaging your relationships, but there are other things you will need to do. In particular determining what it is you really want in your next relationship.. and why.

• Examining past relationships - explore what part you played in their failure, how they started, what you found attractive and un-attractive in your partners and the relationships.
• Identify any Patterns - Look for patterns in your relationships, if you find any, really examine what is going on... Look at your childhood and see if you see similar patterns there.
• Identify your Needs - What do you want in you ideal relationship and why. Really try to get to the bottom of the why bit... be honest. Your list is likely to change slightly as your inner-work progresses.
• Identify your Ideal Partner - What characteristics will your ideal partner have? What is important to you? Is that person able to provide you with the kind of relationship you want. Be honest, really visualise your partner in the everydayness of your ideal relationship, do they match?
• Where are they? - You have identified the kind of partner you are looking for... You have spent time on yourself and now recognise your own beauty and value in this world. What next! Ask yourself where does the kind of person I want to meet go? If you have done your work properly it will be the kind of place YOU want to go also... Call a friend and get out there, have fun, enjoy yourself, be open and love what your doing. Don't panic if the right person doesn't arrive immediately, hopefully you'll be having so much fun you won't even notice, but one day you'll look up... and your partner will be there.

This process is vital, you are taking the time to really examine what has been going on in your relationships. You will learn some lessons, you will start to recognise patterns and your relationship needs. In effect you will be starting to take back some control of your life, putting your hands back on the rudder and enabling you to avoid crashing on the relationship rocks so often. Perhaps more important, you will be able to identify an ideal partner easily, combined with the positive affirmations your consciousness will have shifted, suddenly the people who can give you the relationship you want will become VERY attractive to you, and those who can't, well they may still be good on the eye, but they will no longer be overwhelmingly attractive to you ( or you to them ).

I outline you inner-work in the next section, you have identified your ideal relationship and the characteristics of your ideal partner. Why not write that list down... because you have to become all of those things. If on your list you have written 'must be loving' or 'must be trustworthy' , then you must become these things also. Lets be realistic, if your ideal partner is "athletic and dynamic" and you are a couch-potato... how's that going to work? If you find things on your list that you don't want for yourself, then you need to go back and re-examine what it is you do want. And you need to be clear and honest with yourself and change your list... or get athletic and dynamic! If you want your partner to be "smart looking", take a look at yourself, are you that? Go through your list methodically, miss nothing out, review if you need to. Do not undervalue or underestimate yourself either during this exercise, remember you really can achieve your dreams, all you need to do is believe in yourself and be prepared to go for it and trust in the process.

Release your inner beauty

Nothing is more important than having a deep and genuine appreciation and love for yourself. It is at the very core of everything, without it, even the greatest achievements will be hollow, your innermost desires just mirages in the sand, disappearing as you reach for them.

Our inner world is reflected in our outer existence. If inside we hate our selves or have negative beliefs about the world and our place in it, this will manifest in our external world, we will imagine the worst of everything, it will poison every aspect of our life. It will show in our face, those fleeting expressions that betray our innermost thoughts, are always spotted by the perceptive, but even worse, over time they become etched into the face. We've all seen people with faces fixed into permanent scowls, it wasn't there when they were a child, you are seeing a terrible picture of their inner world.

You may be physically attractive, but without the inner vitality that comes from self love, you will be scarred and no matter what your external appearance, if you love yourself inside, your inner beauty will always shine through. With your inner love radiating out, you will always be very attractive to other people.

Our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are normally formed in child-hood. Negative beliefs formed then, can created patterns that continually sabotage the future.

Negative beliefs and patterns from the past
can sabotage the future.

Perhaps as a child you were always told you were stupid or ugly, or perhaps you misunderstood a circumstance or remark that led you to believe negative things about yourself. You may have had a very traumatic childhood full of abuse, or a privileged one that lacked love. All these things and many many more can leave a child with negative beliefs that just seem to get reinforced as they grow up, building further dysfunctional patterns on dysfunctional beliefs. The sad irony is that often the basis of these beliefs are simply wrong, and whilst some may have proved to work at a superficial level as children, they are no longer true or appropriate as an adult and may be blocking you from achieving your goals.

To improve your relationships with others, you must work on the most important relationship you have, the one with yourself. After all, no matter what you do or where you go... there you are.

We all need and want to be loved, but there is a huge difference between this and being needy for love. Neediness is a classic turn-off and is only likely to attract co-dependent and ineffectual relationships. It is a manifestation of a need for self love. By resolving any inner issues that are blocking you from really loving and appreciating the person who you are, you release yourself to become the best you can and in return you will start to attract healthy loving relationships. Even your friends will notice the difference. To achieve this however, you will have to take the time to understand who you really are and what that person would really look for in a partner. During this process, until you can honestly feel your self love and respect growing within you, I recommend putting your search for romantic love on hold and just concentrate on yourself. Love will come soon enough when you are properly prepared.

As you start to love, respect and nurture yourself more, you just cannot help but become more self-assured, centred and plain happy. Any neediness will simply dissipate because you will already have the most important love of all, your own. And the really great thing is, it shows! Because your consciousness is changing, you will start to attract people who mirror your new healthy self image and they will become more attractive to you. You will attract people like a magnet!

Getting Started

If you realise that some of the issues above are true for you and you want to start making changes then start now. Change comes from within and will only happen if you choose to make it so. If you are ready to commit to your changes then we can help support you through the process.

We recognise that it is important that once you have committed to the process of change, that you stay connected with it. We have developed a new and unique concept using mobile phone technology that allows us to reach out to you and keep you connected with your goals. A special set of powerful positive affirmations designed specifically to focus on self love and attracting your perfect partner are sent directly to your phone over the period of a month. These affirmations are designed to start challenging your negative beliefs and replace them with positive self love and appreciation at a subconscious level.

Change is difficult, we know that. So to help get you started we have developed a affirmation "how-to" eGuide that will give you some additional ideas of what practical things you can do to start challenging any negative beliefs you hold about yourself and self-destructive patterns that may be sabotaging you. This guide is included with the "Perfect Partner" programme.

Affirmations for Your Perfect Partner

Learn more about the positive power of affirmations and other supporting techniques in our affirmations page. But to help you get started here are a couple of positive affirmations designed to help, especially for you.

"I love and accept myself completely"

"I accept my inner beauty and feel it radiate from me"

If you enjoy using affirmations for inspiration try out our free online affirmation cards and let the universe select an affirmation for you!